Monday, February 2, 2015

Do you Believe in Love? You should because it saved your life.

Do you believe in love? I've discovered a lot of people don’t. They think love either does not really exist or it’s just a synonym for sex. I’m here to tell you it does exist, but it’s hard as hell to get. It’s not easy to love someone. In fact, it is very hard and that is why a lot of people just don’t. People hurt us, and people we love hurt us more.

So, why bother? Because love is the thing that keeps old people holding hands when they walk down the street even though their sexy parts have dried up. Love is what keep babies alive. If babies don’t get love and touches, they die. It's called "failure to thrive." Love is what makes life bearable and livable. 

Love  can hit like lightening. It can strike out of the blue when you are walking down the street. People call that meeting your soul mate. I think it is just one soul recognizing another soul it knows, but that does not mean things will be easy from then on. In fact, that will pretty much guarantee that the shit is going to hit the fan because for some reason the universe test lovers. It tests the hell out of them.

In twenty years of marriage, I have discovered that in order to truly love, you have to forgive. You have to forgive yourself, others, God, your parents. You have to forgive that they do not live up to your high moral standards or any standard of perfection as made up by all of us imperfect people who want everyone else to be perfect.

To fall in love is easy. Most everybody is lovable. Don’t believe me? Look at a baby. Or even think about the novel, movie, and newer mini-series Rosemary’s Baby. Everybody loves babies even if they are Satan’s kid. We all start out lovable. I don’t know what happens later but that cute little baby is still inside all of us.

We all want and need love. We may say we don’t, be we do. How do I know? Because babies will die without touch and holding and affection. It is a basic need whether you grow up into a curmudgeon, scrooge or pessimist. You are alive today because somebody must have loved you.
So, how do you get love? Love. The word is a verb. Love others and they will reflect back love to you. If they don’t, it’s their loss. Some people aren't ready, are too scared, too hurt. But the soul is immortal, so we all have all the time in the world to learn to love and be lovable.

So, how do you keep love? Hold on. Hold on no matter what. And if you can’t, if you have reached your limit with someone you love then let go. As the old saying says, “if you love something let it go. If it returns to you then it is truly yours.” I will warn you they may not come back in this life. They may come back in another or another until the end of time. That is the wonderful and terrible thing about being a soul. You live forever so people can take their time coming back. Good people and bad.
How do you tell the difference between your soul mate and another schmuck? Your soul will tell you. It knows the real from the false. When it is time, you will know. Then hold on like hell because that’s when the universe will try and tear you apart.

“Why?” you ask. Because forever is a long time, and if you can’t hold on for even one life on this earth what chance do you have for an eternity? So, love, open your heart and love and get hurt and grow stronger and forgive. What do you have to lose except all your fears?   

Candice Raquel Lee

Author of "The Innocent" a story about the power of  love.

Author of "Effed Up: Abnormal Romance" about how stupid and funny romance can be.